God's Answers

     I started out my day yesterday with a silent prayer. It was more detailed about what I am going to share, but to put it in a nut shell, I prayed that I would speak slowly. Lately, I have noticed that I have been speaking without thinking. I have been speaking things that are on my mind, when usually I would not. I typically don't challenge others because I respect the way they think, but over time this semester I have been speaking on my own opinions and they don't come out in sweetest ways. Now, this is something that I have noticed personally. So, yesterday I woke up with a prayer to help me speak slowly throughout my day. 

    Well, with being children of God comes answers from God. In class yesterday, I mistakenly spoke about notes that I have for my group that others are struggling with. Now, because I spoke about what I have, other students are asking me for the work. After class a friend of mine asked why I said anything in front of other people. It didn't even register to me. Actually it did register to me, but out of control I just said that I had the notes to my friend, and there you have it...others around me who I would have preferred not to know, now know. My friend after class asked me why I mentioned anything about the notes in class. All I could say was, "I don't know." I was very frustrated because now, due to me not holding my tongue and talking to my group after class, other people want the notes that we have. 

     After this was on my mind for a good three hours (I stress about the smallest things, and when there is something on my mind, I can't shrug it off very well) I called Mom. She gave me great advice as she usually does. After my phone call, I had a realization moment. My morning prayer. "God, please help me speak slowly today." Let me explain what I mean. When someone is in the car and prays for patience through traffic, he most likely will have that person hit every red light. This is a lesson on how to teach patience because someone can't learn to be patient without experiencing the feeling of anxiety. So today with my prayer to hold my tongue, I needed to realize what comes from speaking too much and making judgement calls leads to me just feeling stressed. He answered my prayer by showing me consequences. I hope you can see what he did. This blog might be a little confusing with how I explained my story. Overall, God works in mysterious ways, but he gets the job done :)

     Now I am sitting in my school coffee shop. My day is full of meetings and track practice, then maybe a fun Friday! 

"Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." James 1:19 

Gaps

     I never was aware that this time in my day existed. Today started out by snoozing my alarm clock, waking up to eat stale captain crunch on the couch cuddled up with a warm blanket, and taking 10 minutes to get ready. Since then, two classes and chapel have passed. I have an hour and a half before my last two classes and track practice and blogging right now feels amazing! My routine changed today. I would usually be eating lunch in the cafeteria right now, but instead I took lunch to my last class, creating this empty space in my day. Empty right now is good. I walked into my apartment with no one to be found. I walked into my room and just stood by my bed. I looked at my hot coco, took a sip, walked into the living room, and thought. I chose to do nothing. I walked back in my room, grabbed my laptop, and chose to blog. This is such a great feeling. It was a pause in my day. A pause that usually does not happen.
     These gaps in days are full of nothing, and the most intimidating part about nothing is everything that comes to mind. The thought of statistics crept into my mind and I shut it out. The thought of an essay came to mind and I shut it out. I got onto facebook to see other peoples lives and decisions and I stopped looking and shut it out. Everything comes to mind when nothing is there to preoccupy the mind. We live in a place where constant movement, communication, work, and just plane business is gratified. Doing nothing is sometimes considered to be lazy and relaxing is always interrupted (at least that is the case for me). The other day someone asked a group how many different ways there are for someone to get a hold of them. I sat back and I counted how many ways I have myself. I have 6. There are 6 ways that have constant communication within my reach that someone can interrupt me with. Gaps in days are almost impossible because everyone and everything create cloudiness within gaps full of nothing. Now, I am not sure where I am going with this other than the fact that gaps in life are so important. During times of nothing are one of the best places to communicate with God, feel the Holy Spirit in your presence, think about how you are actually feeling, think about what is actually important, think clearly about things that might not make sense. Gaps are times in the day to just do exactly what you want to do. Today I chose to blog.

This is Peanut :) I found a little piece of home at a pumpkin carnival!

This is what happens after a great, yet body pushing workout.

Rachel and I tried to decorate for Halloween...we are trying again tomorrow :) 

Remember my very first blog? It was inspired by this lovely girl, Susanna! This was the same cross country meet I saw her at last year when she inspired me to create this blog. She is amazing! 

The Macklemore Concert was amazing :) 

Tonight

As of right now, I am sitting in my apartment with sleepy time mint tea settling down before bed. A night like tonight is what I have been waiting for. Have you ever just had one moment in mind to do one thing, but it always gets put off? Well this is mine; sit with tea and relax. 

     Today I woke up at 4 AM to help work the Portland Marathon. Talk about inspiration! I saw so many people pushing their bodies to the limit, getting out of the house to try something new, getting into shape, and even people with disabilities were involved. The most inspiring thing that I saw today was a blind man racing. Yes, he was racing. He had a guide in front of him holding two long sticks. The blind man followed behind him holding the sticks, and they moved the two sticks together almost like a train would when it would move its wheels. I got the chills! The funniest thing I saw today were two women who were heavier set with neon shirts that said "marathon virgins!" I think that is awesome. They were out letting people know that they were changing their health life and it was so awesome to see.
     After seeing today, I told myself what I told myself when I was young; be all you can be and don't let anything stop you from doing that. If you are not sure about a decision just wait and see what life has in store for you. Don't judge quickly. Smile. Remember that your life is lived by you, so do the things you want to do! In the midst of everything, don't have regrets. If you are ready for something then grasp onto that something and live with it, and if you aren't just be patient and know your time for growth, in whatever aspect of life it is, will come!
     One thing that I did think about after seeing all of the runners (there were over 13,000 of them from all over the country and some other parts of the world) was that I would love to travel to different marathons when I am older just to participate. Maybe not in a 26 mile marathon, but a 5k run or something small. I would see so many new places and experience so many different things while staying fit just for fun!
     Tomorrow is week 7 of school and it is also midterm week. Here is the funny thing about midterms...I have school Monday-Wednesday and not on Thursday or Friday. I don't have ANY tests this week, but 3 the following week. Therefore, lots of studying will be happening over midterm "break."
   
Now that it is getting closer and closer to my bed time, I will hop on Pinterest to look up Bible readings to study :)

As always, I truly miss my horse, Kelsey. Keep her in your prayers. She is having a little bit of a hard time with her health. She is so much better than a few weeks ago, but she still needs prayers to be the fit "young" horse she used to be! :)

Acceptance & Realization

Hello Everyone!

I am back :)

     School is going wonderful and I found a new church group to go to! It is awesome and I will fill you in more, but I want to blog about my experiences so far during the first five weeks of school (this is already week six...isn't that crazy?!).
     The year has been going great. It has been busier than ever but tests are going well and so are studies. Track is going great and so have workouts. By the end of the day I am very tired and I want more social time, but the balance of life is on a nice setting. What I have been challenged with is something that is a constant challenge, and that is the fact that I can't change and make things fit my mold. Being home for four months and then coming back to college honestly opens someone's eyes to what they truly like about where they are and what they are not comfortable with. Over time (a couple of weeks) things become normal again and routines are back into play, leading to comfort in being back in school. But what troubled me were the things that weren't comfortable after time. The things that still bothered me. Those were the things I couldn't change. I learned that acceptance of those "things" is the only way to find peace. Now, I just realized the acceptance that I must have to move forward to my next few weeks, so other than peace I am not sure what to expect, but I am patiently waiting and praying for what is to come.
     Now, where realization comes into play, is realizing that there is way more time in a day than I plan for, but there is also the exact opposite of that; there is not enough time in the day. I am a person who plans and plans and plans. There are some days that I don't have enough time to do everything I planned, but then there are days (like today) when I didn't plan on having the time to blog, but I DID :) Short point that didn't make much sense, but I hope someone understands what is trying to be said!

My new church, what is at the moment called a "life group," is amazing. Remember the woman I told you about meeting in the park when I was a nanny? Well here is a debrief. I was babysitting when I took who I was watching to a park. At the park I met a woman who worked at my college for five years. Her and her husband are planting a church in SE Portland. After trying to find her and her church on facebook, I gave up and prayed for a new church near me because I have not been connecting well with ones near where I am. About a week later I talked to a woman at my school who actually worked with the woman I met at the park and gave me her contact information. Long story short, that lead me to the life group last night and I am now a part of building a foundation for a future church. FREEDOMPDX. I don't believe meeting the woman in the park was a coincidence. That I believe was God.

     Today is October 1, 2012 and it is still so nice outside. Talk about an Indian Summer! I can totally do this weather all year, and I pray that the rain does not come anytime soon :)

     I do not have the Devotion book near me (I'm sitting in the cafeteria listening to students watching a very obnoxiousness cat video on youtube), or else I would post today's devotion.

What do you need to accept to create peace in your life? :) 

Week 1: It's rare when we can wear dresses, so we took advantage of the nice weather!

Week 1: Ran into the screen door of our new apartment when I was doing laundry :) 

Week 2: Staying strong

Week 2: I took a fast visit over the weekend to see family. This is my Uncle! 

Week 4: Went to a Powwow for a religion/culture class and learned a little bit about my Choctaw heritage :) 

Week 5: Alija surprised me with a picnic on the beach :)