Okay...so instead of studying for my ecology test that I am not ready for, I am blogging. Susanna and I had a chat about this last night. Blogging is amazing. With this ecology test, for some reason I am not stressing because I feel like I know what I am doing, but in all reality I will probably sit down to take the test and realize that I know almost nothing...could have been, should have been, would have been studying, but didn't. So..I am going to pray that I have an idea for this test and pull out a great grade :) and if not...well...I just hope that doesn't happen!
Last week and weekend was wonderful. School was school, track was track, but for some reason things just fell into place and right now life feels like it is where it is supposed to be. Thursday night, or should I say morning, I woke up at 4 am. For some reason, I was wide awake and there was no way I was falling back to sleep. When I realized that I should just stay awake for a while, I called my mom. We had an amazing talk about Jesus and what he is doing in our lives. She inspired me to read 1 John, but along the way I came across other readings that were awesome. They were ones that were felt in my heart and ones that I needed to read in 1 Peter and Ephesians. Here is one of my favorites:
Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.
Ephesians 1: 11
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
Ephesians 1: 16-17
It encouraged me to pray for ones who have not accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts and love them as they are. That's always easy for me to do, but I can't stop praying for them. It's not my intention to change them, that's God's job. I'm his messenger :)
So after having my 4 am Bible study with myself I woke up the next morning feeling completely different. It seemed unreal. I noticed things in my life that were in line, I didn't see much negative. Mom told me that morning to focus on all of the good that God is doing in my life. Don't focus on what he isn't doing, focus on what he is doing. Now it almost came natural. I question myself for having my bad days, for having mixed emotions about where I am supposed to be. All of a sudden I feel content. My heart feels at rest. There was one time over the weekend when I felt uneasy once again, wondering if I was where I am supposed to be, thinking that I might not fit into a life that I want. But of course God came through. He gave a small sign, but it took someone, a very special someone, to see it and bring my attention to it.
Saturday night I felt sad, frustrated, feeling like I might be somewhere where I may not fit in. Alija called me into the other room, and said "Look at this plant. Do you think that it gave up when it realized that it might not fit into the smallest hole in the screen? No, it kept growing, and now it is growing and overtaking what it once called an obstacle." He always has the right things to say. Right then in that moment, everything felt okay again.
Now it is a new day. A new time. A life that is meant to be lived to its fullest.
Lets see how this Ecology test goes! :)
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