FearLESS

Let me just describe the setting of my Sunday morning. Pink blanket, couch, Bible, notebook, hot tea, and silence. Yup, this is what I love about Sundays. When homework is not over bearing and Sunday mornings are able to be enjoyed, I take advantage of every second. I'm in my pajamas, I have a messy bun on the top of my head and it's almost noon. That's what weekends are for!

Tonight will be the second night that Freedom Church is open to the public. I am so excited. Eight people from my school are coming and I can't wait to share Freedom with them. Lets see if we can beat our attendance of 72! God is just moving through lives and I am so happy to be apart of his plan. 

     What has been on my heart lately has been the topic of fear. Humans have a tendency to worry and fear, and I am completely guilty of both of those things. Let me just say, that I don't believe worry, fear, or guilt are from God. I don't think that our spirit is meant to hold on to feelings that bring us down. Think, when you feel upset about something that is happening in your life, when do you ever want to talk to someone about how amazing God is. I know for me, when I am distracted by my own thoughts, I can't seem to escape them. Usually, a drive or just alone time for myself is needed to just get my thoughts under control. This world has a tendency to overcrowd, control, and produce situations in our lives that are not necessary. Control is something that humans tend to thrive for and when we feel that everything is out of line, then it seems that everything around us falls apart.

     But here is the amazing thing about God. When everything seems to be falling apart, he has the power to put things back together. When everything seems to feel out of control, God is in control. Have you ever heard the saying, "what's done is done?" Well, no matter what is "done," God has forgiveness and the power to "re-do." I think that we have the tendency to hold on to what is out of control, and we tend to forget that God is the God of all knowing. He knows what we fear and he knows the mistakes we have made. A lot of the times we forget that he's already forgiven us for things that we have done, but it's a matter of the forgiveness from ourselves that we seem to not let go of. 

     This last Friday, two friends and I had a Bible study. It was pretty darn awesome! We went through 1 Peter and spoke about how in the midst of Christians being killed for following Jesus Christ, Peter wrote a letter telling others to be strong in there faith. He wrote about how there is a place, Heaven, that is waiting for those who keep their faith in Jesus. He inspired them to stay strong and that their hard times of trials are only tests from this world. His life was out of control, but Peter never lost site of the presence of the Holy Spirit. Maybe Peter wasn't fearless, but he feared less than others. I think if he can can stay strong in the midst of the battles around him, we can stay strong with whatever battle is happening inside (and outside) of us. 

1 Peter 1:6-7

So be truly glad. there is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 

The Lessons of Life:

-chicken noodle soup needs more flavor than chicken broth, noodles, and chicken...something that was once a healthy idea has turned into a very salty, unhealthy idea. BUT still better than some other choices!

-a couple of chocolate kisses in the morning after breakfast isn't always bad :)

-dating Jesus is amazing. He is definitely challenging me and showing me areas of my life that is needing strength; trust in him and living out my faith. He is growing my faith and providing me with so much support. 

-Cooking chicken in water instead of olive oil prevents grease stains on my clothes (Thanks Jess!)...and wearing an apron prevents grease stains too :)

-learn from mistakes, don't hold onto them.

-the feeling of getting clothes laundry done AND bed sheets/blankets done in one day is the true feeling of accomplishment!

 

Cheers to the beginning of another week!

Embrace the Sweetness

Do you ever have those mornings when you wake up and say, "today will be a productive day!" Well, that definitely happened about 48 hours ago, but I ended up being productive in relaxing...with no homework being completed. So what am I doing today? 

Homework at the coffee shop :)

My morning went a little something like this...

Woke up to my alarm at 5:15 a.m. to then attempt wake up to my 5:30 a.m. alarm (waking up in 15 minute increments helps me a lot!). Well, this morning was the first time this year that I don't remember turning off my second alarm for 5:30...yes, I overslept. It probably didn't help that my roommates and I were dancing around the house at 1:30 in the morning and I needed to be up bright and early. I work the weight room on campus from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. on Fridays, so this is the reason I am awake right now (I don't have class on Fridays and right now is fall break for midterms. Crazy huh?!) Now, I am working and blogging. I love that I am able to do both. 

What is next? I am off of work in about 30 minutes. I plan on sleeping (again), running (I am now approved by my chiropractor to start running again this week since I sprained my MCL), and will then go to a coffee shop to work on homework. In the large scheme of homework for the semester, I have two large essays and two group projects. When I look at it that way it seems to be a piece of cake! 

So I will embrace the sweetness :) 

I love coffee shops. Yesterday, a friend and I went to this lovely place. I learned that I am not alone with being one of the slowest eaters in the world,. I also learned that my friend is an amazing writer. I love discovering beautiful things.

If you haven't tried Greek Yogurt YOU SHOULD! It is so yummy. With adding dark chocolate protein granola, it satisfies for an amazing dinner. Thank you to another amazing friend for showing me this healthy treat :)

2 Timothy 1: 7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Stepping Around the Cracks

     Remember the game "don't step on the crack." Well, I remember it perfectly. In grade school it was "step on the crack and you'll break your mother's back." All of us as children jumped from one step to one step, trying not to step on any cracks. We tried so hard to keep our heads up to see where we were going, but looked down at our feet at the same time to make sure we didn't break our mother's back! As we looked up, we made sure we weren't going to run into anything (or anyone in that matter) to buy time to look at the ground again to reassure ourselves that we were jumping around the cracks and not on them. We tried so hard to prevent from breaking our mother's back, hypothetically. Now, I am an adult, and this game of "don't step on the crack" seems to be a lot more real. There seems to be cracks that are unavoidable,. 

     Being a senior in college, I'm growing up. I'm not only learning about financial techniques and how to grocery shop, but I'm learning about people. People from different places and different cultures. People who don't agree with some of my decisions and thoughts and people that do. I'm growing up to learn that as I grow, I can see my younger self in someone else. I want to just tell them, "don't try that because it won't work" or "there is an easier way out to this" but of course, I can't. Even if I did they won't listen. Why? Because they need to encounter the situation on their own and learn from it. Without experience there isn't any growth. Within letting myself let other people grow, I am also learning that I also need to continue growing.

     With growing there is a process. You watch someone else go through something and maybe say, "I won't do that." Or, maybe you see someone do something that you like and think, "I'd like to try that." Either way, people grow by observation and experience. But what about there is something that you aren't sure about? What about there is something that is more intuitive than told? That is when there is a leap in faith. 

Throughout life, I have found myself not trying to step on a lot of cracks, but there are times I feel that when I try to not step on one crack, I stumble onto an even bigger one. Sometimes, we can focus so hard on the small cracks and forget to look where we are going to soon find out that there was an even bigger crack ahead of us. We can't revolve our steps around cracks in life, mainly, because we can't avoid all of them.

     So where am I going with all of this? Why am I talking about childhood games, growing up, and tripping over cracks just to trip onto a bigger one? The reason is because right now, I am finding myself tripping over cracks that I shouldn't worry about. I'm stumbling on cracks that are being created. I'm not being confident with where I am walking, when I truly should be. The amazing reality, is that I should be able to walk around the cracks blind folded, because the Holy Spirit of Jesus guides me through every obstacle. The feeling of intuition comes from God. He speaks to us in ways that we can't explain, but it's so easy for this world to be too loud so that we don't hear him.

     For the next six months,  I have decided to dedicate my time to dating Jesus. I know, that may sound a little different, but it's actually amazing. I get to have five dates a week with God, and he treats me to the Bible every day. So I am putting on my blind fold, I am walking forward, and I am taking my leap of faith to grow in the way he wants me to grow. I'm not listening to the world, I'm being confident in the decisions I make, and I'm walking around the cracks while looking towards God for guidance. 

Prayer requests:

-A dear friend has lost her grandmother. I ask for prayers to be sent her way as she is experiencing a hard time.

-My Grama Sharon had knee surgery and is having an amazing recovery. I ask for prayers that continue her strength.

The Adult Life

     Right now, I just finished up eating lunch. This isn't just lunch, this is lunch I cooked. This is a lunch that I spent my own money on. This is a lunch that I earned. I have learned that this is a big difference from lunch at home than lunch that I have as a college student. Yes, I am a senior in college BUT the last three years I have been on my school's meal plan. So now, I grocery shop with my own income on the weekends and plan out my meals for the week days. Why am I talking about how I spend my own money and cook my own food? Because I'm not only learning about how to budget and spend, but I'm learning about myself. I'm now starting to live a single, independent life and I'm learning new things every day. Of course, I know myself but I read the other day that one's mind can measure up another individual in a time of ten seconds and can't measure up themselves their entire life. In a psychological sense, this means that someone else can know another human better than themselves within their life time. Not every believes this theory, but to me it makes some sense. I can swirl into an entire blog about the mind and theories but I won't get started with using my psychology degree right now :)
Some fun facts that I have learned this morning:
-sometimes, it's easier to just cook in a sports bra to avoid getting stains on a white shirt
-when two washers are open, wash two loads of laundry (common sense right? Well, it took me a second walk to the laundry room to realize that both washers were open...)
-when you have a delicate white shirt, put it inside a white pillow case to prevent tears from the washer or other clothes (just make sure to tie the top of the pillow case)
-when you miss home, make something that reminds you of it. What did I make? Sweet tea...who would of thought?
-I like Winco better than Walmart.
...and it's only 2 in the afternoon! What other fun facts will I learn?!

On a more serious note, God is working in my life in amazing ways. He is teaching me to be still. He is teaching me to let things be. He is teaching me how to live...in his ways, not mine. With my life group at church right now, we are studying the book of Luke. Luke 1:19-20 (in "The Message" Bible) an angel is speaking with Zachariah, telling him that his wife will be able to give birth to a son. The angel, Gabriel, says "Every word I've spoken to you will come true in time--God's time." I love this. I'm learning this. I can relate to this. I think everyone can. I look around me and see that the American society is ran by time. Everyone rushes around trying to finish what they need to finish; rush to work, rush home, rush to bed, just to rush to do the same thing the next day. But this is not how I want to live. I don't want to "rush" through life, living each day for the next. I want to be on God's time clock, not mine. It's the beginning of my last year in undergraduate school. Everything this year seems to be new. I have a couple of new roommates (who are amazing), new track coaches (who are also amazing) and it's a new school year.

So cheers to the new year, cheers to the new times, and cheers to the adult life!

P.S. Tonight, Freedom has our first service ever in our new rented building! Remember when our church only included seven people? We have grown to 40!

Luke 1: 20: ...For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper timing. 

The Sweet South

Let me just say, North Carolina was beyond amazing. I met so many family members and saw a different way of living. Now I am back to a different kind of living as well...the college living! Yup, it's that time of year again when I am all packed up away from home and living at my "other" home. I am settled in my new apartment and ready for my senior year of college to start. Before the life of college takes over, I will take you back to the Sweet Southern memories that I will forever hold and let you glimpse through my glass.

*I wish I had a Southern accent.
*Thunder storms in North Carolina are unbelievable. I was mesmerized, but to the locals it was completely normal to have a lightning storm every night. Everything is green and wet there. The South is humid, and when I came back to the West I felt like a fish out of water!
*Grits are not my favorite food, but everyone says that they grow on you.
*Frog legs literally taste like chicken (Yes, I tried frog legs. I saw it so many times on Duck Dynasty that I had to take a bite!)
* Every Avery will have some sort of storage unit holding stuff that are dear to them (I already have two vehicles and things in my Gramps and Granny's basement...I am off to an early start).
*Meals are very important in the South.
*Hush puppies are delicious!
*Homemade ice cream is the best kind ice cream.
*The Pasquatank River is one of those "heart stopping views." Maybe I am a little bias because of family memories, but it sure stopped my heart.
*Blue crabs are pretty yummy fresh off the river, but it's a little different when I am talking to one of them one second and eating it 30 minutes later.
*Boogie boarding in the Atlantic Ocean must happen again. The water is soooo warm.
*Climbing the tallest light house in the nation was definitely a site to see at the top. After 257 stairs up, the view was beautiful.
*The Wright Brother's National Park was way interesting to see. I was able to see where the first flight was successful.
*Kayaking in the swamp was really relaxing. I don't know if the cotton mouthed snake was too happy we were near his home, but he swam away real quick...thank you Jesus for that!
*Sayings I picked up from the South are "youngins, fussin, favors, and you all"
*And my favorite, sweet tea can be ordered everywhere...including the Wendy's. What a life :)

Here is a small something I wrote that may give a little bit more of an understanding of what the South is like. I hope that you can feel a little bit of what I felt on this day.
August 3, 2013
     In the South, at least in North Carolina ("Carolinar"), everything moves slow. As I sit in the white rocking chair on the porch, I watch as the thunder clouds roll in and they even seem to take their time. Oh, and the thunder is rolling. The sun peaks into the world every so often and then lets the clouds be.
     I sit here in this white rocking chair (as almost everyone has one on their porch) to write. It's the only way I know how to capture the moment. Maybe that's why everyone here has the white rocking chairs, because they see life moving here. Gramps told me it is because back in the day, no one had air conditioning so everyone sat on their porch for cool air, but maybe there is another look onto that. And maybe they are white to check for the bugs on the chair. I know I checked for them, especially ticks...the white must be easier for them to see! At least that's my idea :)
     "Now" is so much different compared to "then." I've heard so much about everything; blanchin', shellin', pickin' corn, sortin' berries, adding salt when cannin' and not owning a microwave. Aunt Mary mentioned that in 1985 one was given to her for Christmas, "big ol' thang" she said it was. Time sure passes quickly. As for now, I will sit back, and watch the storm sweep through on this white rocking chair, so that it as well, does not quickly pass me by.

What's It to You?

     I feel like I have been using the word "it" quite a bit lately. Not purposefully, but IT is just something that is on my mind. Now what is it? It is different for every single person. Anything can be it.
     To fill you in, these are how the next couple of weeks are going to go. I will leave to North Carolina day after tomorrow, be there for about a week and a half, fly back to Boise, and then leave to Portland four days later. Talk about about a whirl wind of things happening! I love it and I am so excited, but what I want to focus on is being present in the moment. I want to take advantage of each experience that I have because North Carolina is a once and a life time experience, at least for a visit like this. Remember back in November when I posted about my great grandfather passing away? Well, I am meeting all of his relatives. All relatives I have not met. I will be able to see family property that has been passed down from generations to generations. I am so prepared to be called sweetie and honey in a southern accent while sipping on southern sweet tea. I want to see North Carolina thunder storms and enjoy every moment of it. I don't want to take the moment that God has granted me, focusing on what is going on in my life in Boise and what is to come in Portland.
     The other night, dad and I were cleaning the barn to prepare to buck hay the next day. Bucking hay is just another word for saying that we took bails of hay off of a pasture and stacked them inside of my barn. This is said in simple terms. Come out and help, and after 56 bails in the 102 degree weather you will be saying some words that normally don't come out of your mouth ;) Sooo now that that is cleared up, after dad and I prepared the barn, I sat on my fence and watched the sunset. I know that sounds cliche, but I was completely in the moment. There was a calm breeze on my face as the bright pink sky faded behind the foothills, and I was left to my thoughts. I closed my eyes and just listened to what was around me. I opened them to see my horse and two goats, and realized that this is IT. This is what I want. I want this moment. I want the feeling of this moment. I love this peace. When people talk about where God is and how he talks to people, I think this is a perfect example. God is everywhere, all the time, but when the earth turns a bit slower for people to pause and understand what they are feeling, such as me sitting on my fence, God is a lot easier to feel.

     So my question to you is this. What is IT for you? 

     If someone were to ask me this a couple of days ago I would response, "I don't know. I have an idea, but I don't have one solid answer." IT comes in the moment. I don't know if someone can "make" IT happen. I don't think people can find IT. I think IT finds people.

I think God uses IT to become closer to our hearts, leading us farther along into our journey. 

Papa, I finally get to see your North Carolina.

When You Least Expect IT

Yesterday I was exhausted. Yesterday I had hit my limit. Do you know that feeling when you are so emotionally and physically drained that you want to just sit and cry, but there is no real reason to? You hit a red light, so you want to say things that are not usually used in your vocabulary. You are sitting on the couch and the dog wants out and all you want to do is say, "can't you let yourself out?" Okay, so these are just everyday situations that seem so easy to handle, but when being tired is in the equation, these situations seem so much more difficult. Why am I bringing this up? Because yesterday was this kind of day.
After running on 4 hours of sleep, I got ready for a 10.5 hour day of nannying. Now, I don't want to give off the wrong impression. I love my job. I adore the child I watch and I am so blessed to be such a big part of his life. The reason I was tired was because working out, working, taking care of my animals, spending time with family, filling out papers for my senior year in college, researching master school programs, and trying to have a social life kind of brought me to a tired state of mind. I was physically and emotionally wiped out.
I went to work after my 6:45 AM workout. I played all morning, took care of the 11 week old puppy, and then got ready for swim lessons. I did not put on my swimsuit, instead I decided to take a day off from swimming with the child I am watching and let him play with other kids. After about 10 minutes following swim lessons, he comes up to me and asks, "Christi...can you swim with me?" How could I say no? "Of course," I said, "come with me to change into my swim suit. After I was ready, we went into the pool and we swam. In the middle of the pool are small fountains the kids can play in. The little boy ran into the fountains and said, "CHRISTI! LOOK LOOK!" as he was trying to grab the water. A sudden change in my spirit occurred. Life is so precious. He loves life, and a small bit of water makes his life even better. Innocence is beautiful, and his life is only beginning.
Why am I wasting time by being upset with hitting a red light? Why am I upset when I need to get up off of the couch to let my dog out? In reality, I need to sleep, and psychologically there is fact to that. But, I can control my attitude. So today, after my 5:45 AM workout, I was tired. But the difference between yesterday and today is that I am tired, as well as happy. When I least expected something positive during my day, my spirit recognized how precious life was, and I want to take advantage of every precious moment.
So today, I love.
Tomorrow, I can only be excited for.

Tomorrow I have a visit at a master's program! Wish me luck :)