What's It to You?

     I feel like I have been using the word "it" quite a bit lately. Not purposefully, but IT is just something that is on my mind. Now what is it? It is different for every single person. Anything can be it.
     To fill you in, these are how the next couple of weeks are going to go. I will leave to North Carolina day after tomorrow, be there for about a week and a half, fly back to Boise, and then leave to Portland four days later. Talk about about a whirl wind of things happening! I love it and I am so excited, but what I want to focus on is being present in the moment. I want to take advantage of each experience that I have because North Carolina is a once and a life time experience, at least for a visit like this. Remember back in November when I posted about my great grandfather passing away? Well, I am meeting all of his relatives. All relatives I have not met. I will be able to see family property that has been passed down from generations to generations. I am so prepared to be called sweetie and honey in a southern accent while sipping on southern sweet tea. I want to see North Carolina thunder storms and enjoy every moment of it. I don't want to take the moment that God has granted me, focusing on what is going on in my life in Boise and what is to come in Portland.
     The other night, dad and I were cleaning the barn to prepare to buck hay the next day. Bucking hay is just another word for saying that we took bails of hay off of a pasture and stacked them inside of my barn. This is said in simple terms. Come out and help, and after 56 bails in the 102 degree weather you will be saying some words that normally don't come out of your mouth ;) Sooo now that that is cleared up, after dad and I prepared the barn, I sat on my fence and watched the sunset. I know that sounds cliche, but I was completely in the moment. There was a calm breeze on my face as the bright pink sky faded behind the foothills, and I was left to my thoughts. I closed my eyes and just listened to what was around me. I opened them to see my horse and two goats, and realized that this is IT. This is what I want. I want this moment. I want the feeling of this moment. I love this peace. When people talk about where God is and how he talks to people, I think this is a perfect example. God is everywhere, all the time, but when the earth turns a bit slower for people to pause and understand what they are feeling, such as me sitting on my fence, God is a lot easier to feel.

     So my question to you is this. What is IT for you? 

     If someone were to ask me this a couple of days ago I would response, "I don't know. I have an idea, but I don't have one solid answer." IT comes in the moment. I don't know if someone can "make" IT happen. I don't think people can find IT. I think IT finds people.

I think God uses IT to become closer to our hearts, leading us farther along into our journey. 

Papa, I finally get to see your North Carolina.

When You Least Expect IT

Yesterday I was exhausted. Yesterday I had hit my limit. Do you know that feeling when you are so emotionally and physically drained that you want to just sit and cry, but there is no real reason to? You hit a red light, so you want to say things that are not usually used in your vocabulary. You are sitting on the couch and the dog wants out and all you want to do is say, "can't you let yourself out?" Okay, so these are just everyday situations that seem so easy to handle, but when being tired is in the equation, these situations seem so much more difficult. Why am I bringing this up? Because yesterday was this kind of day.
After running on 4 hours of sleep, I got ready for a 10.5 hour day of nannying. Now, I don't want to give off the wrong impression. I love my job. I adore the child I watch and I am so blessed to be such a big part of his life. The reason I was tired was because working out, working, taking care of my animals, spending time with family, filling out papers for my senior year in college, researching master school programs, and trying to have a social life kind of brought me to a tired state of mind. I was physically and emotionally wiped out.
I went to work after my 6:45 AM workout. I played all morning, took care of the 11 week old puppy, and then got ready for swim lessons. I did not put on my swimsuit, instead I decided to take a day off from swimming with the child I am watching and let him play with other kids. After about 10 minutes following swim lessons, he comes up to me and asks, "Christi...can you swim with me?" How could I say no? "Of course," I said, "come with me to change into my swim suit. After I was ready, we went into the pool and we swam. In the middle of the pool are small fountains the kids can play in. The little boy ran into the fountains and said, "CHRISTI! LOOK LOOK!" as he was trying to grab the water. A sudden change in my spirit occurred. Life is so precious. He loves life, and a small bit of water makes his life even better. Innocence is beautiful, and his life is only beginning.
Why am I wasting time by being upset with hitting a red light? Why am I upset when I need to get up off of the couch to let my dog out? In reality, I need to sleep, and psychologically there is fact to that. But, I can control my attitude. So today, after my 5:45 AM workout, I was tired. But the difference between yesterday and today is that I am tired, as well as happy. When I least expected something positive during my day, my spirit recognized how precious life was, and I want to take advantage of every precious moment.
So today, I love.
Tomorrow, I can only be excited for.

Tomorrow I have a visit at a master's program! Wish me luck :)