Makeover!

Hopefully soon I will be able to redesign my blog :)

I would love to give it a makeover! 

1. O gosh...I hope I haven't turned into one of those American's who give up on their New Year's Resolutions. I don't think I am...I have a post it note on my laptop with the three of them! 

-I can do better with reading my Bible (I just need to be better with reading in general)

-I actually have been doing a good job at being the light (people say I am positive so that is a good sign!)

-I still use my go green razors :) I am still working on taking a faster shower though...I think that will be a lifetime challenge

2. I tried a fat burning/recovery workout shake yesterday before training with a track coach. I won't do that again. It made me super sick! I am going to do the all natural way and just let my body be my body.

3. I have 18 days left of freedom. Then it is time to work towards my future again! :) I mean, I totally am now, but I will be working towards my future career. 

Here are some lovely pictures to embrace you with my life: 

Mom and I on our getaway weekend

Dad and I at our traditional baseball game

My amazing friends and I at the car races

Now for the daily devotional: 

Trust me in the depths of your being. It is there that I live in constant communion with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will someitmes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you. 

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live. My peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in my presence. Then you will be able to hear me bestowing the resurrection blessing: peace be with you. 

Looking Back and Lifting Up

I have not said much about who I am. As I go along, I will put more and more little by little but I am also not sure who reading my blog. Something I was thinking about earlier was a time in elementary school. Remember that scholarship I talked about being awarded? I had to send in a picture with a publicity page about my goals, accomplishments, and information about myself. I went to the store with my dad and printed one of my senior pictures. I have not truly gotten ready all summer so I looked at the photo of me from two years ago and said "wow! my makeup was so dark." Then dad made a smart comment... :) that's besides the point. 

But I just stared at the photo...

     Let me just talk about high school. Please read my entire post to the end, because I think if I were going to read what I am about to type I would stop reading and say, "okay, this girl is full of herself. Is she done yet?" but I am going somewhere completely different with this. I loved high school. I started off my sophomore year building friendships that I liked being in. To be honest, I never truly felt close to most people, but I smiled and talked to them everyday as if we were tied to the knot (there are very few people I can actually say are still good friends: I consider good friends to be able to drive over, not shave my legs for the week, and sit around talking). I was close with everyone; boys and girls. Junior year I was voted by the school to be one of the five girls to represent the junior class on the prom court. Senior year I was voted to be one of the ten girls in the senior class for homecoming court, and I was also one of the five girls on prom court for the seniors again. There were not a lot of people who knew about my life, and I intended it to be that way. I had people over at my home to hang out in the hot tub, eat pizza, hang out, or anything to just get people together. It wasn't that I cared what people thought about me and I didn't exactly "care" if I was a popular kid (because I honestly did not dis-clude anyone; I talked to everyone), but I wanted to have friends that would almost complete me. I wanted to say "yeah, we are friends" to everyone, and there is a reason. 

     When I was in the fifth grade, my best friend and I (who is still one of my best friends today) got into a huge fight. Long story short, after a couple of days the entire school HATED me because of a couple of rumors. Girls growing up are cruel. Sounds pretty cliche' right? I was a complete loner. I would lock myself in the bathroom at recess, and my mom would take time off of work to eat lunch with me. Half way through my sixth grade year, I finally started to have friends. I built my friendships back up when a new girl came to join my school and we went to junior high and high school together. Over time, I became friends with more people, but because of this time through elementary and junior high, I was driven to become the person I was in high school and who I am today. 

     Looking back I am so sad for the little girl locked inside of the bathroom stall eating her pudding, but I am actually so grateful to have had to face that. I am not easily angered, I keep secrets well, I don't gossip, I do not betray...there are so many things I learned at an early age because of what I went through. Kids learn young, and because I was a sponge, I learned fast. 

    I have seen many things in my life that others have no idea about. Many have seen worse, but many people have no clue what life can be like.

     In the presence of today, I feel so great. Right now I am in a good spot. Last night I started to get caught up in decisions and what I am going to do about certain parts of my life, decisions I need to make, and what not. But then I realized "why am I trying to figure all of this out?" The devotion today fit perfectly. And to be honest, it is freaky at how accurate these daily devotions can relate to my life. I hope it can relate to yours as it did to mine. 

Relax and let me lead you through this day. I have everything under control: my control. You tend to peer anxiously into the day that is before you, trying to figure out what to do, and when. Meanwhile, the phone or the doorbell rings, and you have to reshuffle your plans. All that planning ties you up in knots and distracts you from me. Attentiveness to me is not only for your quiet time, but for all your time. As you look to me, I show you what to do and now and next. 

Vast quantities of time and energy are wasted in obsessive planning. When you let me direct your steps, you are set free to enjoy me and to find what I have prepared for you this day. 

Psalm 32:8; Psalm 119: 35; Psalm 143: 8

A few steps back = a few steps gained

     As you listen to the birds calling to one another, hear also my love-call to you. I speak to you continually: through sights, sounds, thoughts, impressions, scriptures. There is no limit to the variety of ways I can communicate with you. Your part is to be attentive to my messages, in whatever form they come. When you set out to find me in a day, you discover that the world is vibrantly alive with my presence. You can find me not only in beauty and birdcalls, but also in tragedy and faces filled with grief. I can take the deepest sorrow and weave it into a patter for good.
     Search for me and my messages, as you go through this day. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole being.
     John 10:27; Romans 8:28 (AMP); Jeremiah 29:13

     The crazy thing about this devotion today is that this morning I read the daily devotion and the birds were having a "hay day" outside. My definition of a "hay day" is just having tons of fun. I guess that isn't TOO crazy, but it was fun to listen to!
     Another crazy thing is that I took the child I babysit to the park today. I met a woman there who lives ten minutes from my school. She worked at my college for about five years and now is starting a church there! The church is connected to the church my mom is attending where I go to school! Small world, right? I am going to try her church. Maybe God wanted me at that park for a reason.

     Yesterday I chose to take a break. I am realizing that I only have a limited time before I go back to school. I am starting to become overwhelmed with everything that is going on, and when it is time to workout after work I find it more stressful to do what I love than it is to just do it. So...my advice to everyone (and some people may disagree) is that when someone feels like this, take a break. This is not giving up and it has taken a little bit of growing up to realize this, but taking a break is so much better for me. I have reached a point of exhaustion, and after a couple weeks of just being tired, I become cranky, demanding, less understanding, and so many more things. In my reality, and sometimes I am still afraid to do this, I take a couple steps back so in my future I can end up ahead. I know that as a runner, if I am not mentally strong, I am physically weak. I made the choice to take a break from serious workouts and enjoy the time I have. I can start my serious workout routines when I return to school and start getting a schedule. Right now, my schedule is becoming so crowded, and I am feeling something I do not like feeling. Don't let the thing you love to do start becoming a task; that is at times when things you love are destroyed.

     What I am thinking about doing is a 7 day detox fast. I read about a fast that has someone eating certain things on certain days and it is supposed to relieve the toxins from your body. I want to check more about it out because I don't want to lose a lot of weight (weight is not the reason I am interested in doing it, I just want to almost "restart" my body), but since I am not working out as hard I am thinking it may be the time to take action and try it out!


Something I learned yesterday: 
You can find ANYTHING on blogs. Google what you want to read about (food, organizing, relationships, college, anything) and a blog will appear. I am amazed!    

For the Love of LIfe

Daily Devotion:
     I am the light of the world. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of my followers to be a light-bearer. The holy spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making me visible to people around you. Ask my spirit to live through you, as you wend your way through this day. Hold my hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The light of my presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am.
John 8:12; Matthew 5:14-16; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Exodus 3:14

Catch up news about my life!
     College: I have 3 and a half weeks before I go back to school! The time has gone by so fast. I think about it and feel like I just got here, but so much has actually happened. My dad moved down to where I am, I traveled to California with my mom, bought a car (then sold the car), had a visit from Alija, bought a new goat (yes! I bought a goat), and so much more! Speaking of school, I have changed my goal for my masters degree. Instead of forensic psychology, I have decided to go into industrial/organizational psychology. I made this decision because I realized that I don't think my heart can handle the trauma of forensics. It took time to decide on my decision for my future but I have decided! I can completely see myself living this kind of future. I have made emails to see which minor I should choose to accompany my psychology major, so I will also keep updates on that. It will either be business administration or urban studies. I am leaning more towards business administration.
     Scholarship: I received a $3,000 scholarship for the upcoming school year! I was one of the top candidates in the nation chosen by DIRECTV to receive the award. I am so blessed.
     Chiropractor: All of my injuries in the year make complete sense now. I finally saw a chiropractor and am being worked on. Last week was my first week. I went three times, and from now on will go twice a week until I leave back to school. Long story short, my entire right side is out of line. Everything on my right side is higher than my left (this includes my collar bone and hip). Today is the first day I will be able to get back to my workouts. The week long break was bitter sweet. Bitter because I feel like I lost my muscle tone but sweet because I was able to catch up on things I needed to do and rest a little bit!
     Goat: YES! I bought a new goat. She is so fun. I bought her at an auction and she was the perfect bid. She is maybe five months old and she is miss curious; so playful, so fun, and at times full of naughtiness. Along with her, Ethal is still living and healthy! She snapped out of being sick and is living life lively again.  

Bonnie and I :)

Tips to be a smart shopper: 
     1. Coupons: As a lot of people hear about all the time, couponing! This is something that I am trying to start being more consistent about. I want to make a binder full of them. I will see how to organize it when I am making a coupon book, but I can picture it being separated by expiration dates, store, products, things like that.
     2. Choice of Stores: Okay, so over the weekend I had new tires put on my truck. While Dad and I were waiting for my truck to be finished we walked around the stores in the parking lot. I needed a book bag for school, socks, agenda, and carpet freshener. Without using any coupons I bought these things. I went to Ross for my school bag ($15 instead of $32) and the rest from the dollar store (I spent about $4 instead of $14). I understand spending all of your money in one store because driving around from store to store makes things difficult and the cost of gas equals the amount that was saved from shopping at different stores, but if all of the stores are in the same parking lot money can be saved! Stores that I shop at before I go to brand stores are:
-Second hand stores
-Ross, TJ Max, Marshal's
-Dollar Store

Now it is time for me to take advantage of each moment left of summer. Soon I will be drowning in papers and tests so I need to enjoy what is in front of me now. Once I am back at school my lifestyle is completely different. No more working out in the yard, picking up Kelsey's pin, riding and taking care of Kelsey, relaxing with Kelsey when I have a long or rough day, working out with Dad, visiting Mom, just being the country girl I truly am. Everything changes. I have two different lives, and both are amazing. The adjustment of each one is just a little difficult. So for now, I will take advantage of the time I have, and live my life day by day working toward my future.

Kelsey Girl

Relax in my peaceful presence. Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am Lord of lords and King of kings, I also desire to be your intimate friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust me enough to be fully yourself with me. When you are real with me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship.

Revelation 17:14; John 15:13-15

It is only Tuesday but it feels like it should be a later day in the week than that! I am not complaining, but I just don't have enough time in the day. Up by 6:30, off work by 4, sometimes go do housework as a second job, workout, take care of Kelsey, eat, shower, and bed. I know I have it easier than a lot of people, but I am very tired. It is making summer go by so fast. Busy schedules tend to do that. Each day goes by so fast, and as soon as you know it, a month has gone by. I have 5 more weeks until I go back to school, and I feel like I just got home. I think back to when summer first started and honestly, a lot has happened, but it doesn't feel like that much time has gone by. 

Here is something that is a bit of a downer on my week. Kelsey's little friend, Ethal, is a goat. She is getting very old and needs to be put down Sunday. I am on the search for a new goat which will be fun to have a new animal around the house, but I am hoping she will become as close with the new goat as she is with Ethal. Pray I find a goat! I am looking, but have had no luck so far. 

In Idaho there are 11 fires right now. It is crazy. Twin falls has the largest fire in the nation as of now with 190,000 acres burned and it is only 40% contained. It started yesterday. But with this terrible fire, it is projecting such a beautiful sunset. Here is a picture from the back of my home. It is amazing.

Sold

     Stop worrying long enough to hear my voice. I speak softly to you, in the depths of your being. Your mind shuttles back and forth, hither and yon, weaving webs of anxious confusion. As my thoughts rise up within you, they become entangled in those sticky webs of worry. Thus, my voice is muffled, and you hear only "white noise."
     Ask my spirit to quiet you mind so that you can think my thoughts. This ability is an awesome benefit of being my child, patterned after my own image. Do not be deafened by the noise of the world or that of you own thinking. Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Sit quietly in my presence, letting my thoughts reprogram your thinking.

Deuteronomy 30:20; Genesis 1:27; Romans 12:2

It was a great weekend! :) Alija came into town for a soccer tournament. It was a fast visit, but so wonderful. Friday night he arrived, Saturday he played his soccer games (he was most valuable striker of the entire tournament meaning he scored the most goals out of everyone there! and his team took second). Then, our evening consisted of a great dinner, ice cream in lovely downtown, and a movie. It was pretty perfect. 

Then on Sunday, to lift my spirits of him leaving in the morning I SOLD MY CAR! That is such a relief of stress. Funny thing is a Bosnian man (Alija is also Bosnian) bought it. How ironic right? What is amazing is that Thursday night at Generation Church Downtown I tithed for the first time in months. I tithed Thursday and was blessed Sunday. God is so good. 

Something that I am really struggling with right now in life is a fork in the road. Decisions are hard. When someone is attached to something so strongly, it is hard to give it up. What if it is given up but the only reason someone makes that decision is because of the "what if" thoughts are flooding their mind? Or what if that person only makes the decision because they only "think" they know the right to do. But in reality, no one really knows anything. That might not make any sense at all, but if you think back to my 'Apples and Oranges' blog, it might make a connection about a relationship. I can only take one day at a time and pray. Today, the devotional really spoke to me. It related to what is happening in my life right this second. 

Something I have noticed is that being a nanny has made me a better person. That might sound kind of corny, but it is very true. I realized this over the weekend when I was around others. I am more patient, understanding, and I don't get frustrated as easy. Kind of silly, but very true. I am so grateful. 

Now it is time to start budgeting for school! :) 

Titleless

I am your Father-God. Listen to me. Learn what it means to be a child of the everlasting King. Your richest duty is devotion to Me. This duty is such a joyous privilege that it feels like a luxury. You tend to feel guilty about pushing back the boundaries of your life to make space for time alone with Me. The world is waiting to squeeze you into its mold and to crowd out time devoted to Me. The ways of the world have also warped your conscience, which punishes you for doing the very thing that pleases Me most: seeking My Face. Listen to Me above the clamor of voices trying to distract you. Ask My Spirit to control your mind, for He and I work in perfect harmony. Be still and attentive in My Presence. You are on holy ground. 

Isaiah 9:6; Zechariah 9:9 (NKJV); Romans 8:15; Exodus 3:5

This is the devotion for the day. I know I have been slacking (again) on blogs, but I promise I am trying to be better! Here is the name to the book: Devotion for Every Day of the Year by Sarah Young "Jesus Calling" Enjoying Peace in His Presence. 

My summer is going by so quickly. There is just so much going on, but at the same time it is the same things going on every day.

Work, workout, work with Kelsey, shower, sleep :)

I am trying to sell my car. It is the only option I have. Someone almost bought it the other day, but didn't, and I have emails coming in. Now it just needs to get sold by the beginning of August! 

I hope you had a great Fourth of July!! My day consisted of working, stopping by the store for hamburgers, and a couple of friends over. Dad cooked Susanna, Mariah, and I hamburgers (I love that my dad is a great cook!) and we spent the evening and night just talking about life. Now those are the evenings that have celebration. People don't need to go out, party, and have large plans to have fun. Surround yourself with the ones you care about and the ones who care about you and the celebration is the most memorable. 

I have about six weeks until I go back to school! Summer is just flying by. Alija is coming to visit today, so it  will be a nice weekend. 

Have a wonderful day! 

And I will get back to blogging routine soon! :)