The Clock is Ticking

Next week I am done with my first semester of my junior year of college. I have two more presentations, two more final tests, and one more essay to write. Lets get this done!

These last couple of weeks have been challenging, but life growing. I have gone through two deaths. One was my own great grandfather and another was my boyfriend's grandmother. 

The last time I saw my papa was the second week of September. I was there for four days, just visiting with him and my Nonnie. We went to dinner, ate his favorite pecan pie, traveled to one of his properties where he blessed me with a car, and talked until midnight about many of his stories. If there is one man that is a hard worker, he is the one. He is the typical American man; work for your money, and work some more. The traditional American man. Not the American that sits on the computer working stock markets in an office. He is the man who gets his hands dirty on a construction property with a button up shirt and nice slacks from 8 a.m. until night time falls. At his funeral this past week, each of the family members put a rock in his casket in the memory of his hard work, and his fetish of rocks. Papa would pick up rocks on his property just to move them to another area on a different property. He was an amazing man, and he will forever be missed. 

In his memory, I ran my BSU indoor races for him. These last two weeks went a little like this: Fly home from Thanksgiving break, fly to California two days later, fly to Boise for my track meet where I ran Friday and Saturday, and drive a 7 hour ride back to school. Was it hard? Of course. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I ran my fastest times for my indoor college career. I won both heats of my 60 meter dash with a time of 8.17 and took third in my 200 heat with a time of 26.89. These times are a huge deal. Let me say why. Last year my fastest time in the 60 was a 8.26 and for my 200 my time was a 27.1. I just ran my two fastest times two months earlier in the indoor season. It may not seem like a huge personal best, but when your body is being pushed to its absolute limit, decreasing times by .02 is a big accomplishment. 

Now the time is ticking and the Christmas spirit is here. Last night my roommates and I put up our Christmas tree and we are finally starting to feel the joy in the air. This time may not be easy, but there is always a rainbow after a hurricane. 

Brain Work

     As I sit in the library, I think back to when I was a freshman in college. Everything was so new. My friends were new, my schedule was new, my surroundings were new, my life became new. Now as I sit in the same library at the same table, the things that were once new became normal, and what has become normal has become another chapter in my life. There are five more weeks until Christmas break. That means there are five more weeks of this semester. WOW! I can't believe it.
     Day before yesterday, as my post said before, everything just worked out. I did laundry, scheduled an appointment for my mom's car to get the oil changed, had my new pastor replace my brake light, and was able to have two study sessions for different classes done. Those days are rare, but I am learning that more days would happen that way if I didn't worry so much about what is to come. I am guilty for over planning, stressing, and worrying every. single. day :)
     This weekend I am traveling to my Aunt and Uncle's home (remember when I was spoiled with brownies and milk before bed?). It is always such a relaxing time when I visit them, so I am really looking forward to it. Before I have my vacation weekend, I have three tests to overcome; two tomorrow, and one Friday. Vacations are just coming very soon! Thanksgiving break is November 22-25, the BSU indoor meet is the following weekend of November 30-December 1 where I will be running the 60, 200, and 4x400, and then two weeks later I have Christmas break starting on December 14 (I think those are the right dates). Time is going by so fast. I feel like that is the one thing I say the most (other than I love you...you can't ever say that enough!), but it is completely true.
     So as I sit in the library, I wonder what is to come. But to keep myself from over planning, stressing, and worrying about everything I wonder about, I enjoy the time that I have been blessed with.

Here is one of my new favorite Bible verses (I also found a cool website so I can actually stay faithful to my new year's resolution and read my entire Bible!):

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful." 2 Timothy 4:7

P.S. I see Kelsey in a couple of weeks!! :)

Kelsey and I competing at the fair in 2008 :) 

When

Days are lovely WHEN things just workout :) 

Have an amazing day! 

God's Answers

     I started out my day yesterday with a silent prayer. It was more detailed about what I am going to share, but to put it in a nut shell, I prayed that I would speak slowly. Lately, I have noticed that I have been speaking without thinking. I have been speaking things that are on my mind, when usually I would not. I typically don't challenge others because I respect the way they think, but over time this semester I have been speaking on my own opinions and they don't come out in sweetest ways. Now, this is something that I have noticed personally. So, yesterday I woke up with a prayer to help me speak slowly throughout my day. 

    Well, with being children of God comes answers from God. In class yesterday, I mistakenly spoke about notes that I have for my group that others are struggling with. Now, because I spoke about what I have, other students are asking me for the work. After class a friend of mine asked why I said anything in front of other people. It didn't even register to me. Actually it did register to me, but out of control I just said that I had the notes to my friend, and there you have it...others around me who I would have preferred not to know, now know. My friend after class asked me why I mentioned anything about the notes in class. All I could say was, "I don't know." I was very frustrated because now, due to me not holding my tongue and talking to my group after class, other people want the notes that we have. 

     After this was on my mind for a good three hours (I stress about the smallest things, and when there is something on my mind, I can't shrug it off very well) I called Mom. She gave me great advice as she usually does. After my phone call, I had a realization moment. My morning prayer. "God, please help me speak slowly today." Let me explain what I mean. When someone is in the car and prays for patience through traffic, he most likely will have that person hit every red light. This is a lesson on how to teach patience because someone can't learn to be patient without experiencing the feeling of anxiety. So today with my prayer to hold my tongue, I needed to realize what comes from speaking too much and making judgement calls leads to me just feeling stressed. He answered my prayer by showing me consequences. I hope you can see what he did. This blog might be a little confusing with how I explained my story. Overall, God works in mysterious ways, but he gets the job done :)

     Now I am sitting in my school coffee shop. My day is full of meetings and track practice, then maybe a fun Friday! 

"Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." James 1:19 

Gaps

     I never was aware that this time in my day existed. Today started out by snoozing my alarm clock, waking up to eat stale captain crunch on the couch cuddled up with a warm blanket, and taking 10 minutes to get ready. Since then, two classes and chapel have passed. I have an hour and a half before my last two classes and track practice and blogging right now feels amazing! My routine changed today. I would usually be eating lunch in the cafeteria right now, but instead I took lunch to my last class, creating this empty space in my day. Empty right now is good. I walked into my apartment with no one to be found. I walked into my room and just stood by my bed. I looked at my hot coco, took a sip, walked into the living room, and thought. I chose to do nothing. I walked back in my room, grabbed my laptop, and chose to blog. This is such a great feeling. It was a pause in my day. A pause that usually does not happen.
     These gaps in days are full of nothing, and the most intimidating part about nothing is everything that comes to mind. The thought of statistics crept into my mind and I shut it out. The thought of an essay came to mind and I shut it out. I got onto facebook to see other peoples lives and decisions and I stopped looking and shut it out. Everything comes to mind when nothing is there to preoccupy the mind. We live in a place where constant movement, communication, work, and just plane business is gratified. Doing nothing is sometimes considered to be lazy and relaxing is always interrupted (at least that is the case for me). The other day someone asked a group how many different ways there are for someone to get a hold of them. I sat back and I counted how many ways I have myself. I have 6. There are 6 ways that have constant communication within my reach that someone can interrupt me with. Gaps in days are almost impossible because everyone and everything create cloudiness within gaps full of nothing. Now, I am not sure where I am going with this other than the fact that gaps in life are so important. During times of nothing are one of the best places to communicate with God, feel the Holy Spirit in your presence, think about how you are actually feeling, think about what is actually important, think clearly about things that might not make sense. Gaps are times in the day to just do exactly what you want to do. Today I chose to blog.

This is Peanut :) I found a little piece of home at a pumpkin carnival!

This is what happens after a great, yet body pushing workout.

Rachel and I tried to decorate for Halloween...we are trying again tomorrow :) 

Remember my very first blog? It was inspired by this lovely girl, Susanna! This was the same cross country meet I saw her at last year when she inspired me to create this blog. She is amazing! 

The Macklemore Concert was amazing :) 

Tonight

As of right now, I am sitting in my apartment with sleepy time mint tea settling down before bed. A night like tonight is what I have been waiting for. Have you ever just had one moment in mind to do one thing, but it always gets put off? Well this is mine; sit with tea and relax. 

     Today I woke up at 4 AM to help work the Portland Marathon. Talk about inspiration! I saw so many people pushing their bodies to the limit, getting out of the house to try something new, getting into shape, and even people with disabilities were involved. The most inspiring thing that I saw today was a blind man racing. Yes, he was racing. He had a guide in front of him holding two long sticks. The blind man followed behind him holding the sticks, and they moved the two sticks together almost like a train would when it would move its wheels. I got the chills! The funniest thing I saw today were two women who were heavier set with neon shirts that said "marathon virgins!" I think that is awesome. They were out letting people know that they were changing their health life and it was so awesome to see.
     After seeing today, I told myself what I told myself when I was young; be all you can be and don't let anything stop you from doing that. If you are not sure about a decision just wait and see what life has in store for you. Don't judge quickly. Smile. Remember that your life is lived by you, so do the things you want to do! In the midst of everything, don't have regrets. If you are ready for something then grasp onto that something and live with it, and if you aren't just be patient and know your time for growth, in whatever aspect of life it is, will come!
     One thing that I did think about after seeing all of the runners (there were over 13,000 of them from all over the country and some other parts of the world) was that I would love to travel to different marathons when I am older just to participate. Maybe not in a 26 mile marathon, but a 5k run or something small. I would see so many new places and experience so many different things while staying fit just for fun!
     Tomorrow is week 7 of school and it is also midterm week. Here is the funny thing about midterms...I have school Monday-Wednesday and not on Thursday or Friday. I don't have ANY tests this week, but 3 the following week. Therefore, lots of studying will be happening over midterm "break."
   
Now that it is getting closer and closer to my bed time, I will hop on Pinterest to look up Bible readings to study :)

As always, I truly miss my horse, Kelsey. Keep her in your prayers. She is having a little bit of a hard time with her health. She is so much better than a few weeks ago, but she still needs prayers to be the fit "young" horse she used to be! :)

Acceptance & Realization

Hello Everyone!

I am back :)

     School is going wonderful and I found a new church group to go to! It is awesome and I will fill you in more, but I want to blog about my experiences so far during the first five weeks of school (this is already week six...isn't that crazy?!).
     The year has been going great. It has been busier than ever but tests are going well and so are studies. Track is going great and so have workouts. By the end of the day I am very tired and I want more social time, but the balance of life is on a nice setting. What I have been challenged with is something that is a constant challenge, and that is the fact that I can't change and make things fit my mold. Being home for four months and then coming back to college honestly opens someone's eyes to what they truly like about where they are and what they are not comfortable with. Over time (a couple of weeks) things become normal again and routines are back into play, leading to comfort in being back in school. But what troubled me were the things that weren't comfortable after time. The things that still bothered me. Those were the things I couldn't change. I learned that acceptance of those "things" is the only way to find peace. Now, I just realized the acceptance that I must have to move forward to my next few weeks, so other than peace I am not sure what to expect, but I am patiently waiting and praying for what is to come.
     Now, where realization comes into play, is realizing that there is way more time in a day than I plan for, but there is also the exact opposite of that; there is not enough time in the day. I am a person who plans and plans and plans. There are some days that I don't have enough time to do everything I planned, but then there are days (like today) when I didn't plan on having the time to blog, but I DID :) Short point that didn't make much sense, but I hope someone understands what is trying to be said!

My new church, what is at the moment called a "life group," is amazing. Remember the woman I told you about meeting in the park when I was a nanny? Well here is a debrief. I was babysitting when I took who I was watching to a park. At the park I met a woman who worked at my college for five years. Her and her husband are planting a church in SE Portland. After trying to find her and her church on facebook, I gave up and prayed for a new church near me because I have not been connecting well with ones near where I am. About a week later I talked to a woman at my school who actually worked with the woman I met at the park and gave me her contact information. Long story short, that lead me to the life group last night and I am now a part of building a foundation for a future church. FREEDOMPDX. I don't believe meeting the woman in the park was a coincidence. That I believe was God.

     Today is October 1, 2012 and it is still so nice outside. Talk about an Indian Summer! I can totally do this weather all year, and I pray that the rain does not come anytime soon :)

     I do not have the Devotion book near me (I'm sitting in the cafeteria listening to students watching a very obnoxiousness cat video on youtube), or else I would post today's devotion.

What do you need to accept to create peace in your life? :) 

Week 1: It's rare when we can wear dresses, so we took advantage of the nice weather!

Week 1: Ran into the screen door of our new apartment when I was doing laundry :) 

Week 2: Staying strong

Week 2: I took a fast visit over the weekend to see family. This is my Uncle! 

Week 4: Went to a Powwow for a religion/culture class and learned a little bit about my Choctaw heritage :) 

Week 5: Alija surprised me with a picnic on the beach :) 

Not Forgotten

I have not forgotten about my blog! 

School has just been sooo busy. 

I will post when time allows me too...which I pray is VERY soon :)

The Day

Today I was hit with a moment that I will be soon entering the time of absolutely becoming a college athlete again. The season of pretraining is around the corner, and that means track season is right around that bend. Fear crept into my mind, but I stopped it. I embraced it. I took control of it. Here is what I did, and maybe it will help you too. Soon I will be going non-stop for the 2013 track season (but in reality, it says hello in September of 2012). 

September 4, 2012

Choose the day.

State your goals.

Transfer everything from your mind on to that paper.

Read it every time you have doubt. 

Do what you have always dreamed of. 

Sorry for the blurry picture! :) 

Daily Devotion: 

I speak to you from deepest heaven. You hear me in the depths of your being. Deep calls unto deep. You are blessed to hear me so directly. Never take this privilege for granted. The best response is a heart overflowing with gratitude. I am training you to cultivate a thankful mind-set. This is like building your house on a firm rock, where life's storms cannot shake you. As you learn these lessons, you are to teach them to others. I will open up the way before you, one step at a time. 

Psalm 42:7 (NKJV); Psalm 95:1-2; Matthew 7:24-25

We Are Glass

     I survived my wisdom teeth being pulled (I think...I am still in healing process)! It is so much easier than tonsil and adenoid surgery, but the the morning pain is still brutal when the ibprofen wears off.
     Today I am back to work playing nanny :) The child and I had a small talk today about being careful of how we play. For some reason I am still a little swollen (I really didn't swell that bad) and not feeling 100%. I am not sure why, but I take forever to heal from things. It doesn't help that I'm on a bad diet because I am limited to what I can eat, but it also doesn't help that my body is slow at kicking things to the curb. I realized how fragile bodies are. The mind and spirit have the potential to be so strong, but the human body can be so weak. I believe that the human body can be pushed to such a large limit, more than anyone can imagine if it needs to be, but when small things like this occur, drugs are pumped in and out of people to hide the pain, put people under, forget what happened, the entire nine yards.
     Being human is so odd if we really think about it. Life is great, no matter what goes on around someone, it is somebody's choice to be happy. There are times when people do not have a choice for what has happened to them, or what does happen to them or around them (been there), but eventually in life there is a choice to be happy. There is a choice to grow from experience. There is a choice to move on. The mind, spirit, soul, and body are all connected (like the father, son, and holy spirit), but they are all strong in different points. When the body is weak, the mind, spirit, and soul need to be strong for it. When those are weak, the body must make up for that weakness. Example, when I am stressed or down right upset I ride my horse or workout. I forgot what it was like to have surgery. I forgot what it was like to feel like absolute BLA..and I hope I am not reminded again any time soon. But as humans we are glass. We can break, we can fall and be damaged, but the difference between humans and glass is that we were gifted the power to heal where glass can not. We can choose to put the pieces back together and over time be mended back to normal (even though we don't even know what "normal" really is).

Daily Devotion: 

Understanding will never bring you peace. That's why I have instructed you to trust in me, not in your understanding. Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery over their lives. But the world presents you with an endless series of problems. As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you. The relief you had anticipated is short-lived. Soon your mind is gearing up again: searching for understanding (mastery), instead of seeking me (your master). 

The wisest of all men, Solomon, could never think his way through to peace. His vast understanding resulted in feelings of futility, rather than in fulfillment. Finally, he lost his way and succumbed to the will of his wives by worshiping idols. 

My peace is not an elusive goal, hidden at the center of some complicated maze. Actually, you are always enveloped in peace, which is inherent in my presence. As you look to me, you gain awareness of this precious peace.

Proverbs 3:5-6; Romans 5:1; 2 Thessalonians 3:16 

*Solomon: I need to read more in the Bible about Solomon. See why I need to read the entire Bible? :) 

Random facts: 

1. Desperate House Wives saved my life during down time this weekend. I am obsessed with that show! I am on season 7...I will be so sad when I am finished with season 8.

2. I know I said I would try and get a funny picture of my chipmunk face, but it wasn't really that swollen and I was super loopy to get any. Sowwwy!

3. My birthday is May 5th, Cinco de Mayo baby :) (Alija and I share the same birthday, weird right?!)

4. My horses Sunny (he passed away last April) and Kelsey are my life.

5. I used to competitively show horses.

6. I love mostly all music, but country music steals my heart for the most part.

7. My break from not working out has been nice, but once I am back at school my butt will be kicked back into gear! (I know this doesn't really fit with this section of the blog, but it's short so it works, right?)

I am looking into doing the "makeover" to my blog! As you might be able to notice I am a little scatter brained today, so I will need to sit down on a day with nothing to do and customize everything. Susanna's blog looks SOOO good, so I may ask her for some help on how to add photos, profile info, etc. I see the links, but it doesn't exactly turn out the way I would like it to. I'm a little picky ;) 

Happy Tuesday everyone :) 

Today it is supposed to be 105 degrees. Holy Hottt!

Olympics: Wahoo America, but great job to all of the athletes. It takes to much hard work and dedication to be there. :)

Silence

     Have you ever been overwhelmed? Lately, I feel so anxious. I always get like this when change, or something is about to happen. August is a big month. A lot is going to happen, and things are starting to sink in. Summer is coming to an end, and a new chapter is about to begin. To calm this anxious feeling, I have been pretty quiet. I have not been listening to music when I get ready for my day. I have not been driving with music. I have not been having Pandora play lists on my computer. I have just kind of cut out background noise for a while to sit and listen to what is around me. 

     On that note, here is the devotion for the day (I JUST read the devotion. I had no idea that it was on silence, I promise!)

Bring me the sacrifice of your time: a most precious commodity. In this action-addicted world, few of my children take time to sit quietly in my presence. But for those who do, blessings flow like streams of living water. I, the one from whom all blessings flow, am also blessed by our time together. This is a deep mystery; do not try to fathom it. Instead, glorify me by delight in me. Enjoy me now and forever. 

Psalm 21:6; John 7:38; Psalm 103:11

I have a place at near my school where I go if I need time to myself. I think this year I am going to try and go once a week to just sit and listen. 

Crazy how things just relate each day!

Something else happened this morning along these lines. I had tithing money building up inside of my wallet for almost four weeks. I wanted to tithe to get the money out, and surrender it over to God. Last night I tithed, and guess what happened this morning! Someone very close to me donated money to me to help buy text books for the upcoming year. Jim is a family friend who has helped me so much this summer. He is an elder man who used to eat at a coffee shop I went to. My friend worked there so I ALWAYS got the best BLTs ever for free. Over time, I have helped him around his home, and he has become family. God works in mysterious ways, and I completely believe in tithing. God asks for 10% of all income; no more, no less. This is what I was taught (other people have been taught differently but this is how I follow my tithes) and I have complete faith. If anything, God has taught me the importance of tithing this summer. 

Here are some random facts! :)

1. I get my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow. I will try and get a funny picture :)

2. I am a Christian.

3. I am in a relationship with someone who is a different religion. (remember my "Apples and Oranges" post?)

4. My favorite color is green.

5. I would die without chocolate :)

Challenge of the Day

Challenge of the Day:
Sing in your car even if someone is watching :)

USA is doing great in the Olympics! I cannot wait until track and equestrian comes on.

Daily Devotion: 

Nothing can separate you from my love. Let this divine assurance trickle through your mind and into your heart and soul. Whenever you start to feel fearful or anxious, repeat this unconditional promise: "Nothing can separate me from you love, Jesus."

Most of mankind's misery stems from feeling unloved. In the midst of adverse circumstances, people tend to feel that love has been withdrawn and they have been forsaken. This feeling of abandonment is often worse than the adversity itself. Be assured that I never abandon any of my children, not even temporarily. I will never leave you or forsaken you. My presence watches over you continually. I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. 

Romans 8:38-39; Joshua 1:5; Isaiah 49:15-16

My thought for this devotion is tricky. I feel very loved; I don't have any doubt on that. But what if I love something that is not in love with something I am in love with? That was a lot of "love" in there :) 

That is a deep thought, and rhetorical question. 

Happy Wednesday everyone! 

Two days until Friday.

15 Days until Alija comes! :)

Makeover!

Hopefully soon I will be able to redesign my blog :)

I would love to give it a makeover! 

1. O gosh...I hope I haven't turned into one of those American's who give up on their New Year's Resolutions. I don't think I am...I have a post it note on my laptop with the three of them! 

-I can do better with reading my Bible (I just need to be better with reading in general)

-I actually have been doing a good job at being the light (people say I am positive so that is a good sign!)

-I still use my go green razors :) I am still working on taking a faster shower though...I think that will be a lifetime challenge

2. I tried a fat burning/recovery workout shake yesterday before training with a track coach. I won't do that again. It made me super sick! I am going to do the all natural way and just let my body be my body.

3. I have 18 days left of freedom. Then it is time to work towards my future again! :) I mean, I totally am now, but I will be working towards my future career. 

Here are some lovely pictures to embrace you with my life: 

Mom and I on our getaway weekend

Dad and I at our traditional baseball game

My amazing friends and I at the car races

Now for the daily devotional: 

Trust me in the depths of your being. It is there that I live in constant communion with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will someitmes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you. 

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live. My peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in my presence. Then you will be able to hear me bestowing the resurrection blessing: peace be with you. 

Looking Back and Lifting Up

I have not said much about who I am. As I go along, I will put more and more little by little but I am also not sure who reading my blog. Something I was thinking about earlier was a time in elementary school. Remember that scholarship I talked about being awarded? I had to send in a picture with a publicity page about my goals, accomplishments, and information about myself. I went to the store with my dad and printed one of my senior pictures. I have not truly gotten ready all summer so I looked at the photo of me from two years ago and said "wow! my makeup was so dark." Then dad made a smart comment... :) that's besides the point. 

But I just stared at the photo...

     Let me just talk about high school. Please read my entire post to the end, because I think if I were going to read what I am about to type I would stop reading and say, "okay, this girl is full of herself. Is she done yet?" but I am going somewhere completely different with this. I loved high school. I started off my sophomore year building friendships that I liked being in. To be honest, I never truly felt close to most people, but I smiled and talked to them everyday as if we were tied to the knot (there are very few people I can actually say are still good friends: I consider good friends to be able to drive over, not shave my legs for the week, and sit around talking). I was close with everyone; boys and girls. Junior year I was voted by the school to be one of the five girls to represent the junior class on the prom court. Senior year I was voted to be one of the ten girls in the senior class for homecoming court, and I was also one of the five girls on prom court for the seniors again. There were not a lot of people who knew about my life, and I intended it to be that way. I had people over at my home to hang out in the hot tub, eat pizza, hang out, or anything to just get people together. It wasn't that I cared what people thought about me and I didn't exactly "care" if I was a popular kid (because I honestly did not dis-clude anyone; I talked to everyone), but I wanted to have friends that would almost complete me. I wanted to say "yeah, we are friends" to everyone, and there is a reason. 

     When I was in the fifth grade, my best friend and I (who is still one of my best friends today) got into a huge fight. Long story short, after a couple of days the entire school HATED me because of a couple of rumors. Girls growing up are cruel. Sounds pretty cliche' right? I was a complete loner. I would lock myself in the bathroom at recess, and my mom would take time off of work to eat lunch with me. Half way through my sixth grade year, I finally started to have friends. I built my friendships back up when a new girl came to join my school and we went to junior high and high school together. Over time, I became friends with more people, but because of this time through elementary and junior high, I was driven to become the person I was in high school and who I am today. 

     Looking back I am so sad for the little girl locked inside of the bathroom stall eating her pudding, but I am actually so grateful to have had to face that. I am not easily angered, I keep secrets well, I don't gossip, I do not betray...there are so many things I learned at an early age because of what I went through. Kids learn young, and because I was a sponge, I learned fast. 

    I have seen many things in my life that others have no idea about. Many have seen worse, but many people have no clue what life can be like.

     In the presence of today, I feel so great. Right now I am in a good spot. Last night I started to get caught up in decisions and what I am going to do about certain parts of my life, decisions I need to make, and what not. But then I realized "why am I trying to figure all of this out?" The devotion today fit perfectly. And to be honest, it is freaky at how accurate these daily devotions can relate to my life. I hope it can relate to yours as it did to mine. 

Relax and let me lead you through this day. I have everything under control: my control. You tend to peer anxiously into the day that is before you, trying to figure out what to do, and when. Meanwhile, the phone or the doorbell rings, and you have to reshuffle your plans. All that planning ties you up in knots and distracts you from me. Attentiveness to me is not only for your quiet time, but for all your time. As you look to me, I show you what to do and now and next. 

Vast quantities of time and energy are wasted in obsessive planning. When you let me direct your steps, you are set free to enjoy me and to find what I have prepared for you this day. 

Psalm 32:8; Psalm 119: 35; Psalm 143: 8

A few steps back = a few steps gained

     As you listen to the birds calling to one another, hear also my love-call to you. I speak to you continually: through sights, sounds, thoughts, impressions, scriptures. There is no limit to the variety of ways I can communicate with you. Your part is to be attentive to my messages, in whatever form they come. When you set out to find me in a day, you discover that the world is vibrantly alive with my presence. You can find me not only in beauty and birdcalls, but also in tragedy and faces filled with grief. I can take the deepest sorrow and weave it into a patter for good.
     Search for me and my messages, as you go through this day. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole being.
     John 10:27; Romans 8:28 (AMP); Jeremiah 29:13

     The crazy thing about this devotion today is that this morning I read the daily devotion and the birds were having a "hay day" outside. My definition of a "hay day" is just having tons of fun. I guess that isn't TOO crazy, but it was fun to listen to!
     Another crazy thing is that I took the child I babysit to the park today. I met a woman there who lives ten minutes from my school. She worked at my college for about five years and now is starting a church there! The church is connected to the church my mom is attending where I go to school! Small world, right? I am going to try her church. Maybe God wanted me at that park for a reason.

     Yesterday I chose to take a break. I am realizing that I only have a limited time before I go back to school. I am starting to become overwhelmed with everything that is going on, and when it is time to workout after work I find it more stressful to do what I love than it is to just do it. So...my advice to everyone (and some people may disagree) is that when someone feels like this, take a break. This is not giving up and it has taken a little bit of growing up to realize this, but taking a break is so much better for me. I have reached a point of exhaustion, and after a couple weeks of just being tired, I become cranky, demanding, less understanding, and so many more things. In my reality, and sometimes I am still afraid to do this, I take a couple steps back so in my future I can end up ahead. I know that as a runner, if I am not mentally strong, I am physically weak. I made the choice to take a break from serious workouts and enjoy the time I have. I can start my serious workout routines when I return to school and start getting a schedule. Right now, my schedule is becoming so crowded, and I am feeling something I do not like feeling. Don't let the thing you love to do start becoming a task; that is at times when things you love are destroyed.

     What I am thinking about doing is a 7 day detox fast. I read about a fast that has someone eating certain things on certain days and it is supposed to relieve the toxins from your body. I want to check more about it out because I don't want to lose a lot of weight (weight is not the reason I am interested in doing it, I just want to almost "restart" my body), but since I am not working out as hard I am thinking it may be the time to take action and try it out!


Something I learned yesterday: 
You can find ANYTHING on blogs. Google what you want to read about (food, organizing, relationships, college, anything) and a blog will appear. I am amazed!    

For the Love of LIfe

Daily Devotion:
     I am the light of the world. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of my followers to be a light-bearer. The holy spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making me visible to people around you. Ask my spirit to live through you, as you wend your way through this day. Hold my hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The light of my presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am.
John 8:12; Matthew 5:14-16; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Exodus 3:14

Catch up news about my life!
     College: I have 3 and a half weeks before I go back to school! The time has gone by so fast. I think about it and feel like I just got here, but so much has actually happened. My dad moved down to where I am, I traveled to California with my mom, bought a car (then sold the car), had a visit from Alija, bought a new goat (yes! I bought a goat), and so much more! Speaking of school, I have changed my goal for my masters degree. Instead of forensic psychology, I have decided to go into industrial/organizational psychology. I made this decision because I realized that I don't think my heart can handle the trauma of forensics. It took time to decide on my decision for my future but I have decided! I can completely see myself living this kind of future. I have made emails to see which minor I should choose to accompany my psychology major, so I will also keep updates on that. It will either be business administration or urban studies. I am leaning more towards business administration.
     Scholarship: I received a $3,000 scholarship for the upcoming school year! I was one of the top candidates in the nation chosen by DIRECTV to receive the award. I am so blessed.
     Chiropractor: All of my injuries in the year make complete sense now. I finally saw a chiropractor and am being worked on. Last week was my first week. I went three times, and from now on will go twice a week until I leave back to school. Long story short, my entire right side is out of line. Everything on my right side is higher than my left (this includes my collar bone and hip). Today is the first day I will be able to get back to my workouts. The week long break was bitter sweet. Bitter because I feel like I lost my muscle tone but sweet because I was able to catch up on things I needed to do and rest a little bit!
     Goat: YES! I bought a new goat. She is so fun. I bought her at an auction and she was the perfect bid. She is maybe five months old and she is miss curious; so playful, so fun, and at times full of naughtiness. Along with her, Ethal is still living and healthy! She snapped out of being sick and is living life lively again.  

Bonnie and I :)

Tips to be a smart shopper: 
     1. Coupons: As a lot of people hear about all the time, couponing! This is something that I am trying to start being more consistent about. I want to make a binder full of them. I will see how to organize it when I am making a coupon book, but I can picture it being separated by expiration dates, store, products, things like that.
     2. Choice of Stores: Okay, so over the weekend I had new tires put on my truck. While Dad and I were waiting for my truck to be finished we walked around the stores in the parking lot. I needed a book bag for school, socks, agenda, and carpet freshener. Without using any coupons I bought these things. I went to Ross for my school bag ($15 instead of $32) and the rest from the dollar store (I spent about $4 instead of $14). I understand spending all of your money in one store because driving around from store to store makes things difficult and the cost of gas equals the amount that was saved from shopping at different stores, but if all of the stores are in the same parking lot money can be saved! Stores that I shop at before I go to brand stores are:
-Second hand stores
-Ross, TJ Max, Marshal's
-Dollar Store

Now it is time for me to take advantage of each moment left of summer. Soon I will be drowning in papers and tests so I need to enjoy what is in front of me now. Once I am back at school my lifestyle is completely different. No more working out in the yard, picking up Kelsey's pin, riding and taking care of Kelsey, relaxing with Kelsey when I have a long or rough day, working out with Dad, visiting Mom, just being the country girl I truly am. Everything changes. I have two different lives, and both are amazing. The adjustment of each one is just a little difficult. So for now, I will take advantage of the time I have, and live my life day by day working toward my future.

Kelsey Girl

Relax in my peaceful presence. Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am Lord of lords and King of kings, I also desire to be your intimate friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust me enough to be fully yourself with me. When you are real with me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship.

Revelation 17:14; John 15:13-15

It is only Tuesday but it feels like it should be a later day in the week than that! I am not complaining, but I just don't have enough time in the day. Up by 6:30, off work by 4, sometimes go do housework as a second job, workout, take care of Kelsey, eat, shower, and bed. I know I have it easier than a lot of people, but I am very tired. It is making summer go by so fast. Busy schedules tend to do that. Each day goes by so fast, and as soon as you know it, a month has gone by. I have 5 more weeks until I go back to school, and I feel like I just got home. I think back to when summer first started and honestly, a lot has happened, but it doesn't feel like that much time has gone by. 

Here is something that is a bit of a downer on my week. Kelsey's little friend, Ethal, is a goat. She is getting very old and needs to be put down Sunday. I am on the search for a new goat which will be fun to have a new animal around the house, but I am hoping she will become as close with the new goat as she is with Ethal. Pray I find a goat! I am looking, but have had no luck so far. 

In Idaho there are 11 fires right now. It is crazy. Twin falls has the largest fire in the nation as of now with 190,000 acres burned and it is only 40% contained. It started yesterday. But with this terrible fire, it is projecting such a beautiful sunset. Here is a picture from the back of my home. It is amazing.

Sold

     Stop worrying long enough to hear my voice. I speak softly to you, in the depths of your being. Your mind shuttles back and forth, hither and yon, weaving webs of anxious confusion. As my thoughts rise up within you, they become entangled in those sticky webs of worry. Thus, my voice is muffled, and you hear only "white noise."
     Ask my spirit to quiet you mind so that you can think my thoughts. This ability is an awesome benefit of being my child, patterned after my own image. Do not be deafened by the noise of the world or that of you own thinking. Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Sit quietly in my presence, letting my thoughts reprogram your thinking.

Deuteronomy 30:20; Genesis 1:27; Romans 12:2

It was a great weekend! :) Alija came into town for a soccer tournament. It was a fast visit, but so wonderful. Friday night he arrived, Saturday he played his soccer games (he was most valuable striker of the entire tournament meaning he scored the most goals out of everyone there! and his team took second). Then, our evening consisted of a great dinner, ice cream in lovely downtown, and a movie. It was pretty perfect. 

Then on Sunday, to lift my spirits of him leaving in the morning I SOLD MY CAR! That is such a relief of stress. Funny thing is a Bosnian man (Alija is also Bosnian) bought it. How ironic right? What is amazing is that Thursday night at Generation Church Downtown I tithed for the first time in months. I tithed Thursday and was blessed Sunday. God is so good. 

Something that I am really struggling with right now in life is a fork in the road. Decisions are hard. When someone is attached to something so strongly, it is hard to give it up. What if it is given up but the only reason someone makes that decision is because of the "what if" thoughts are flooding their mind? Or what if that person only makes the decision because they only "think" they know the right to do. But in reality, no one really knows anything. That might not make any sense at all, but if you think back to my 'Apples and Oranges' blog, it might make a connection about a relationship. I can only take one day at a time and pray. Today, the devotional really spoke to me. It related to what is happening in my life right this second. 

Something I have noticed is that being a nanny has made me a better person. That might sound kind of corny, but it is very true. I realized this over the weekend when I was around others. I am more patient, understanding, and I don't get frustrated as easy. Kind of silly, but very true. I am so grateful. 

Now it is time to start budgeting for school! :) 

Titleless

I am your Father-God. Listen to me. Learn what it means to be a child of the everlasting King. Your richest duty is devotion to Me. This duty is such a joyous privilege that it feels like a luxury. You tend to feel guilty about pushing back the boundaries of your life to make space for time alone with Me. The world is waiting to squeeze you into its mold and to crowd out time devoted to Me. The ways of the world have also warped your conscience, which punishes you for doing the very thing that pleases Me most: seeking My Face. Listen to Me above the clamor of voices trying to distract you. Ask My Spirit to control your mind, for He and I work in perfect harmony. Be still and attentive in My Presence. You are on holy ground. 

Isaiah 9:6; Zechariah 9:9 (NKJV); Romans 8:15; Exodus 3:5

This is the devotion for the day. I know I have been slacking (again) on blogs, but I promise I am trying to be better! Here is the name to the book: Devotion for Every Day of the Year by Sarah Young "Jesus Calling" Enjoying Peace in His Presence. 

My summer is going by so quickly. There is just so much going on, but at the same time it is the same things going on every day.

Work, workout, work with Kelsey, shower, sleep :)

I am trying to sell my car. It is the only option I have. Someone almost bought it the other day, but didn't, and I have emails coming in. Now it just needs to get sold by the beginning of August! 

I hope you had a great Fourth of July!! My day consisted of working, stopping by the store for hamburgers, and a couple of friends over. Dad cooked Susanna, Mariah, and I hamburgers (I love that my dad is a great cook!) and we spent the evening and night just talking about life. Now those are the evenings that have celebration. People don't need to go out, party, and have large plans to have fun. Surround yourself with the ones you care about and the ones who care about you and the celebration is the most memorable. 

I have about six weeks until I go back to school! Summer is just flying by. Alija is coming to visit today, so it  will be a nice weekend. 

Have a wonderful day! 

And I will get back to blogging routine soon! :)

Home

Today I came back from visiting in California. My Papa had a stroke about seven years ago, so every moment with him is o'so precious (this is on my mom's side of the family). I saw my relatives on my mom's side and learned a lot about my past; where I came from. Now, remember my parents are divorced, so I am going to make this short so no confusion of who is related to who happens :)
I saw my Grandparents, Aunt's, Uncles, and a couple of cousins. Mom and I drove a 12 hour drive and arrived Friday afternoon. There were 12 of us in one house and lets just say mom and I are pretty relieved to be home.
I also saw my Grama Sharon, Great Grandma, Aunt and Uncle, and small cousin. (this is on my dad's side of the family). Are you still with me? :)

My mom's side of the family HATES taking pictures sooo...no pictures were taken there. I did get a picture with my Grama Sharon and small cousin.

Grama Sharon, Me, and Isabel
This day was consisted of Starbucks, lunch, cookies, and crispers. Remember Aunt Sandi and Uncle Jim who sent me to bed with milk and brownies? Grama Sharon is Aunt Sandi's sister. Now do you see where the sweet tooth comes from?? Dad's side of the family is all about sweets! My Nana and I had multiple cookies each! We just could not stop eating them :)

This morning Mom and I left back to Idaho at 2:15 in the morning so it is my bed time! Surprisingly, when Mom and I left that early in the morning we talked because I was WIDE awake. Funny how that happens. What I have learned is that some of the best conversations happen when the rest of the world is sleeping. Mom always helps and is always great to talk to!

I was given a daily devotional book from a friend. I will start posting them on the blog! They are awesome. 

Sweet Dreams :)

5,400 seconds of rest

As I said last night, here is a longer blog about what is going on! :)

My computer was in the shop because it needed some repairs. It just needed a little tune up, but it is back now so I can blog.

This is how the computer tune up started. I figured I can get my computer tuned up because I had the money to. I had my car, I was saving gas from driving my car and not my truck, and I still had money to spare. Now, two weeks later I am back to square one. Not even square one...negative squares. My car situation is terrible. First it over heated so I had to replace the radiator. It was running great! Then on the way to work on Friday it threw a rod in my engine. In other words, my motor is done for. I need a new motor...I am now thousands of dollars less than what I started with, and I will most likely need to start from scratch. There are no motors for my model of car available here, or in any other surrounding state. What luck huh? Depending on how things go I am going to sell it for a parts car and start over again. 

So where does this land in how I think it is a blessing from God? 

Here is what I honestly believe. I have been blessed my entire life when it comes to budgeting and working. I hope this does not come off wrong, but I have always been a smart spender. I see this situation as 

1. A lesson learned on being patient

and

2. Really do the research myself on a car before I buy one. I honestly do think that God blessed me with something great and that the enemy took it away. I trust that God knows what he is doing and that this is all going to work out. It isn't that I am worried, more disappointed. But regardless, I do believe that God works in mysterious ways, and this is a part of life. 

Since this summer so far has been a summer of learning and lessons, I have also been learning other things but in a more positive way. 

1. Do things because you want to do them; not for other people. I can relate to this personally when I workout. I noticed that I have been working out not for myself, but to impress others. Impress them with track, or impress them with how strong I am. I am learning that doing it for others has been holding me back. I need to do it for myself. 

2. Control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you. Don't act out of sadness and don't act out of anger. Control your emotions, your fears, your heart. Sometimes you need to think with your mind and act with your heart. Everyone always says "follow your heart," but sometimes your heart doesn't always think things through. Follow your heart, but let your mind guide you. Your mind has better instincts than you think.

I have Bible readings that I would love to put on but I don't have my Bible with me! A great place to read for a quick bible post is my friend Susanna's blog. She always has great posts about what she has read that day. Here is her link:

 http://susannafleming.blogspot.com/

Have an amazing day! 

Have an amazing week! 

...no matter what happens. 

   

Falling Behind

1. This post is going to be super fast.

2. I am so sorry I have not been able to post a lot! My computer has been in the shop.

3. It has been a hard couple of weeks. 

4. I will post in detail soon!

5. I hope you enjoy my numbered points for a post :) 

Day In and Day Out

The days go by so fast! I have a routine of the same thing...

work, workout, Kelsey, eat, shower, then get ready for the next day. Where are my days going? It is absolutely crazy! 

Before I wind down, here is what I read before bed last night...it blew my mind. I love it.

Matthew 24: ALL OF IT

 All I have to say it read it. It is amazing. It speaks about Jesus foretelling the future and what it will be like before he comes back. 

"Nation will go to war against nation"

"There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world."

"No one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." 

"When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat."

The message of Matthew 24 is so powerful.

Our God is a loving God, but he is also a fearful and powerful God as well. 

Here are other versus that touched my heart: 

You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it. Matthew 21: 22

You must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. Matthew 22: 37

Prayer Requests: 

Please pray for my dad. He is working SSOOO much (today he put in 15 hours) and his throat is super sour. He can't afford to get sick!

One day tucked away for bed, and another is about to wake up for tomorrow :) 

Motivation

Okay, so another week has started and Christi the Nanny is in full mode. To finish up my weekend Dad and I went to a new store near called Barnucopia. Everything is organic and locally produced. It is my new favorite store! 

This totally goes towards my going green resolution. 

This morning I did a workout at 5:15 a.m. and left for work at 7:30. 

I wasn't late...but I adore this clock!

My days are coming and going, but I love every moment of it. I saw Mom, Vanessa, and Rocki this evening before I was with Dad, Gramps, and Granny. 

I found a website that I love for workouts. She started her workout site by blogging (this is my understanding) and is now broadcasting. I am now studying her workouts and getting to work tomorrow morning. 

http://www.jillybeantv.com/

It is time to start winding down (it's only 8:00 and I am already thinking about bed time!) and starting to turn off my mind (biggest challenge EVER). A huge storm is passing through (the largest part has seemed to pass so I have my computer charging) and everything around me is winding down. 

This is a picture of the storm that hit. 

I am not sure how many people read my blog, or how many followers I might have, but I realized that I need to be consistent. Even if it is a small post, I still need to keep updating! :)

Here is to another week of business, life, and enjoyment. Be prepared for what is to go wrong this week, but smile, sing, and enjoy the ride because life only happens once :)

Beautiful Imperfections

Today has been a great day. 

The entire time I have been home it has been great. 

So far I have bought a car (her name is Roxy. She isn't the most beautiful car in the world, but she gets me from  point A to point B with amazing gas mileage! I love her!), started my new job being a nanny, and have been spending time with family and friends.

That is what has been on mind lately; imperfections. My car isn't perfect, my family isn't perfect, life isn't perfect, and I am far from being perfect. I started to think today about the Saturday Market and taking Dad to it. He wanted me to look for avocados at a good price, but didn't see any. That led me to just inviting him to go with me down to the market. One thing is that my parents are divorced. So my time is spread when I am home from living at my grandparents, seeing my mom, and seeing my dad. Along comes visiting my sisters, and making sure that I see everyone before I go back to school. This can be extremely hard at times, also stressful. But as I become older it becomes easier. Going to the Saturday Market with Dad is a way to spend quality time together and do something we would both enjoy. Because my parents were divorced, one of my HUGE goals in life is to have a imperfect, crazy fun, trusting, beautiful family. A family that goes to see Grandma and Grandpa, a family that has games nights, and a family that eats at the table to talk about their day (not sit and watch TV). What I don't want to do is make it sound like I had a terrible life. This is not the case. All of the trials I faced while growing up has lead me to where I am today, and I do not regret one thing. What it does do is motivate me to work for what I want not only for my life, but my families lives. That is waayyy far in the future, but it is just a tangent thought. One positive thing about my parents being divorced, even though many people would say that divorce is all bad, is that I have strong relationships with each of my parents. My Mom is my biggest fan and my Dad is always by my side. I can talk to both of them about anything, and I can be completely honest. The Saturday Market is something that I can take my Mom or Dad to and have a bonding day. Mom says we are already completely bonded, but we always can have more bonding time! :)
So life is imperfect, so what. Life is hard at times, but what I have learned is that tomorrow is coming and no matter how hard we try, life won't change if something is meant to be. We can't take control of other people's problems. What we can do is help everyone, and support people who seek us. We can be there for someone who needs our hand, and stand by their side showing them that they are not abandoned.
I saw a quote the other day and it explained my life, and I am sure a lot of other's peoples lives perfectly. It said:
"Don't judge me because I am committing a different sin from you."
Wow! This spoke to me with so much power. This is because I am not perfect, no where close to it, and neither is anyone else on this world. Every sin is a sin.
Life is full of surprises. Some surprises that we don't want, and some that we absolutely love. Grama Sharon tells me that when life is going smoothly be weary. Dad tells me to always hope for the best, but always expect the worse. Mom tells me to trust in Jesus, and everything will come into place.

With that small window looking into my crazy, busy, active brain of mine...today Granny, Gramps, Dad, and I are getting ready for a BBQ for this evening. The pork ribs are ready to cook on the grill, baked beans are on the stove, and salad is being mixed in the kitchen.
It's a beautiful day for an evening of family.